. and still loved.With the price of horse meat it was looking like he was cannery bound. But she loved him; short, halt, fat and slightly swaybacked, Charley had been HER horse. She'd had her first tingler up on Charley, bareback. Now, she was heading off to college and Charley was stuck in the barn.A barn horse still eats ... feed is expensive and her money, saved from babysitting from ten until she was 16 and then tips and wages from carhopping at the Freeze-O, was paying for University worthy clothing.Daddy had enough money to pay tuition and dorm for one year. She needed to find a Senior, Engineering preferably, to cajole into marriage. 18 and looking to graduate with an Mrs. degree.Like I said, a horse eats ... a barn horse is a liability. When she was growing up, she fixed the old Ford 8N, a chore that took the whole of one winter. She rebuilt the sickle bar mower, rolling rake, and wire bailer and cut, raked and bailed hay on some mighty steep and dangerous slopes, land her dad. "I'll be home soon and we will move to plan B. Of course I have no idea what that will be."As I drove over the ever worsening roads I thought about my situation. On the interstate highway for the first twenty miles I felt like shit. I was thinking about Liam being gone. Then for the next fifty miles of smaller and more dangerous state roads, I thought about my future. Where would I find some peace from the constant need to be on the move. The money hadn't reduced my urge to 'DO SOMETHING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE'. It wasn't grand gestures I had been after, just small things. By the time I got down to the county road leading to the marina, I knew I was just as lost as ever. I did have tears streaming down my face. I felt so fucking lost.When I pulled the candy cane colored pickup into the parking lot Wilson came out to greet me. "Are you alright? You sounded depressed," he said."Wilson, I'm always depressed," I replied with what I felt was candor."No you are not, you depress other.
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